La Aprovechada

Sorry everyone, this is a post that I meant to put up before I left for the states in March, and it completely slipped my mind…

2-21-11

I’m glad I have this new-found closeness with my community, but I gotta say, now that I’m understanding more, and people are feeling more comfortable with me, I’m starting to see some more of the problems that I was warned about in training.

People trying to take advantage of me, for example. Niña Francisca came to me a couple months ago to talk to me about the possibility of getting a new sewing machine for the clothing workshop here. She’s one of the people I sometimes have a hard time understanding, but I got the basic drift. I told her I’d see; that there were some funds in existence for improving community-led microenterprises. But even then, it felt a little weird that she came to me at my house like that. It shouldn’t have, since I’m often at my house and that’s how people usually find me, but still…I think it was because, to my knowledge, she didn’t hold any particular leadership position in the community. I thought it was a little strange that the women’s group would send her to talk to me, especially in such an apparently informal manner. Despite the fact that settings are so often informal in this country, when business is conducted, people seem to get very serious. They plan a meeting, send out invitations, convene the town, introduce themselves and any office they hold formally (even though everyone already knows all that), and they discuss the issue. From the very beginning, Niña Francisca’s request just felt a little…off.

I put her off a bit, and went to talk to Herminia, who had a heavy hand in starting the workshop with the old volunteer, Patty. To my surprise, she more or less confirmed that the workshop could use a new machine (not that shocking, I guess – half of their machines are old Singers that are worked with a foot treadle). I told her I’d look into it and get back to her.

Then I kind of forgot about it, I’m ashamed to say. No one said anything else to me until about a month ago, when Niña Francisca came to me again, wondering if I’d thought of anything for the new machine. I put her off again, and this time resolved to really look into the matter. A few days later, I was invited to a meeting with all the workshop women and – as I would normally have anticipated in the first place – they put the request to me more formally, by convening and explaining exactly to me what they needed and why. They explained to me that they wanted a new machine so that they could start incorporating more of the young women in the town who wanted to participate. They could use the new machine to teach them, as an extra one for them to practice on initially, and eventually share in the work of the group. I told them that Niña Francisca had already mentioned the matter to me, and I was looking into it. I felt relieved that the whole workshop seemed to be behind this original request she made.

Imagine my surprise then, when she waylaid me outside my front porch as we walked home from the meeting that night. I realized later that she waited until Cruz left for her house before she approached me. She started talking again about the machine, and as usual I was having trouble understanding her. Yes, I kept telling her, I’ll see what I can do. I understand what your group is asking of me. Finally, she made it clear that SHE still needed HER sewing machine, separate from what the group asked of me. I was pretty dumbfounded, and still a little confused. Seeing this, she offered to come to my house the next day to explain.

Yes. Please do, Niña Francisca. Explain why you want me to buy you a sewing machine.

She did come the next day. She spent some time explaining to me how some of the women in the workshop had two machines – one for heavy work, and one with a focus light for more delicate things. Lastima, she only had ONE machine herself – and she needed a second.

“Wait,” I said, trying to clarify. “Is this machine really for the workshop?”

“Yes,” she promised me eagerly. “I’ll use it in the workshop.”

“But only you’re going to be using it.” Not a question.

“Well – ” she hesitated. “No, not exactly. It’s for the good of the group, after all. We can get more work done, if I have a second machine.”

Hmm. This was sounding fishier by the moment. I asked her about the machine the group was already requesting, and she hurried to tell me that the machine would probably only be used by Wilma (the seamstress in town who originally gave the lessons and taught them all how to sew). And she already has TWO, Niña Francisca emphasized to me. She doesn’t need another.

I put her off by answering vaguely and telling her that, very likely, this kind of request would need the support of a group behind it to get funding from any NGO or organization. The next day, I went to a leadership class with Niña Cruz and she asked me,

“Has Niña Francisca been asking you for a sewing machine?”

Ah ha! The plot thickens.

Apparently, Niña Francisca has been trying for a while to find someone to buy her a new sewing machine, and having little luck. Cruz told me to be cautious with her, because what she really wanted was a sewing machine for personal use. While I try to take most gossip I hear with a grain of salt, this pretty much confirmed the suspicions I had from the start. In the end, I was able to help the workshop obtain some extra funds for a new machine. Cruz told me a few days ago the Niña Francisca just bought herself a new sewing machine, likely using money sent to her from a family member in the states (pretty common proceeding, here). I guess she got my hints that I probably wouldn’t be able to get her one.

See, it’d be funny enough if it ended there, but it didn’t! Tonight, I gave the funds to Wilma for the new machine in a meeting. Perhaps the vision of green got Niña Francisca all excited, because at 8:30, with my porch lights already out, there came a soft tapping at my door. Niña Francisca.

Oh no, I thought. Not when she’s already bought one. She must know, with the love of gossip this town has, that I’m already of aware of this fact. She can’t possibly be here to ask me again for a sewing machine again. But she was. After a few minutes of telling me how much she works and how, for this reason, she can’t be involved as she’d like in everything I do, she stately slyly,

“And…that matter that we talked about before?” Check that out. She knew what she was doing. She didn’t even have the guts to refer to “the matter” by name. I told her, gently but firmly, that unfortunately, it wasn’t going to be possible. I’d checked with my boss, and he confirmed that I’d need the support of a whole community group for this kind of request, not just an individual. Lastima, as much as I’d like to buy sewing machines for everyone here, I just don’t come with those kinds of funds. My role is to educate, guide, assist, support. And while I was occasionally able to find a small amount of monetary support to deserving groups like the clothing workshop, I didn’t know any NGOs that accepted individual requests for sewing machines. Sorry.

I could see the words “but it’s for the workshop” forming when I cut her off, telling her she’d have to have the support of the women’s group for her request. I continued to firmly dissuade her from the idea. Repeating over and over: “I’m a volunteer. I don’t have money. I don’t come with NGOs in my pocket. I don’t have funding.” After a few minutes she took the hint and went home. Gracias a dios.

Now, if she comes to me tomorrow requesting an oven since she knows I’m starting a bakery in the town, I really am going to flip…